Did you know that one of the major predictors of overall life satisfaction is satisfaction in your relationship? That’s a powerful statistic and one we should all probably take notice of if we’re in a marriage or partnership. There are plenty of relationship tips and advice based on a huge amount of psychological research looking at the important things that contribute to a successful relationship or marriage. Mostly, the things that lead to a successful relationship are not difficult, they often don’t take a lot of time and they involve doing things that make you feel good and are enjoyable. Sounds pretty good so far! It makes you wonder why we can all find relationships so difficult at times.
One of the major predictors
of overall life satisfaction
is satisfaction in your relationship
The idea that your partner should also be your best friend is one of those ideas that receives plenty of ridicule and rolled eyes. But being friends with your partner; enjoying each others company, having similar interests and values, will provide a solid foundation for success. If you’re already great friends, then you’ve got a solid foundation on which to build.
To nurture your relationship you’ll need to spend time together, enjoying shared activities and making plans. Sharing activities creates memories, brings couples closer together, and encourages communication.
Get Involved In Your Partner’s Interests
For couples who have different interests, it’s important to make time to participate in activities that your partner loves (even if it’s not really your thing). According to psychologists, this is the ’emotion work’ that builds a positive relationship, because it’s about making your partner happy.
Time Away From Children
Having children fundamentally changes the dynamics of a relationship, causing some couples to slip permanently into the ‘mum’ and ‘dad’ roles. Spending time discussing nappy changes and parenting strategies can leave little time left for each other. That’s why it’s really important to make regular time together without the children.
Go on regular date nights, celebrate your anniversary, plan a romantic weekend, or book an overnight luxury spa package at a romantic couples-only resort. Enjoy wine, chocolates, massage and dining. Make this time exclusive you-time and minimise outside distractions.
Positive Communication Style
Communication is one of the biggest determinants of whether a relationship will succeed. There are many ways to communicate and yelling, insulting each other and withdrawing are very destructive. We often learn these negative habits in our early upbringing and are forced to learn new habits when we discover how damaging they are to our close relationships.
Positive communication includes things we all intellectually know about, but sometimes have trouble implementing. Listening to your partner, not interrupting and understanding how your partner is feeling are all constructive ways of communicating that can be consciously practiced.
Good communication is something we need to work out. Doing things together and spending time talking about our day are ways we can practice building positive communication and trust, and can better tackle trickier issues when they arise. Take a long relaxing bath together, soak in a hot tub, or enjoy a couples massage – these activities will leave you relaxed and more open to positive communication.
When couples get caught up with child-rearing and everyday chores, they can forget to check in with each other. Even if you’ve got a million things that have to be organised, take the time each day to check in with your partner and find out how they are – it only requires 10 or 15 minutes. During this precious time, let them talk about their day or things that are on their mind. It doesn’t have to be intense or deep. It’s about regularly making a connection, so that even if you are snowed under with family and work responsibilities, you still know what’s going on in your partner’s life.
This may seem odd for a relationship tip, but it’s something that we may find we don’t do because we assume we know our partner. When you were first dating, you probably spent a lot of time asking questions. It’s the way we learn about each other.
We shouldn’t make the mistake of not noticing that our partners (and ourselves) are always changing, thinking and developing new interests. When we ask questions of each other we maintain our interest, our partners feel they are valued, and we learn from each other. By asking questions we also open ourselves to being influenced by our partner, and growing positively as a result.
Keep It Fresh
Psychologists have found that couples that report feeling bored seven years into their relationships, are significantly more unhappy nine years later. It’s important to not let things get too predictable. Have sex in different locations, try new positions or book a sexy weekend away in a beautiful location.
Explore new interests together. Learn something new or start a class that neither of you have done before.
Touch Each Other
Non sexual touching is as important in a relationship as sex. Touch builds intimacy and reinforces the fact that you are a couple. Don’t save touching simply for sex. Give your partner a hug or a shoulder or hand massage. It lets them know you care and is a non verbal way of staying connected.
Turn Off Mobile Phones & Social Media
Mobiles phones and social media have quickly become a toxic intrusion in many parts of our lives. If you want to be a healthy, romantic couple, keep social media and mobile phone scrolling to a minimum when you are together.
Say Thank You
This is so easy to do. Make sure you say thank you and your partner knows you appreciate them. Feeling taken for granted in a relationship can make us feel neglected and unwanted.
About Balinese Retreat
At Balinese Retreat we are dedicated to creating romantic experiences for couples. No matter what stage of your relationship, we believe in the rejuvenating qualities of relaxation and quality time to improve communication and help reconnect with your partner.
If you are looking for an experience to connect with your partner, celebrate a special occasion or light the sparks of seduction, Balinese Retreat has a choice of romantic one night accommodation and two night accommodation packages.
Balinese Retreat is an adults-only resort, located 45 minutes from Melbourne. Couples enjoy private hot mineral springs and hot tub bathing, spa therapies, romantic dining and a la carte breakfast on a landscaped five acre retreat.